Daddy Newbie Adventures in Fatherhood
Related Articles
As a father, youth sports advocate through NM Football Academy, and someone who writes about parenting challenges at Daddy Newbie and Dad Spotlight, I’ve tackled difficult topics before. But nothing prepared me for navigating the intersection of school safety, childhood trauma, and the reality that my children practice for mass murder as routinely as they practice fire drills.
This is the conversation no parent wants to have, but every parent must. Because in 2026, active shooter drills are as common in American schools as recess and homework. And while the intention is to keep our kids safe, the unintended consequence may be traumatizing an entire generation.
Let me share what I’ve learned about active shooter drills, their psychological impact on children, and how we as fathers and parents can help our kids navigate this terrifying reality without losing their sense of safety and childhood innocence.
The Reality: School Shootings in America
Before we discuss drills, we need to understand the crisis they’re meant to address.
The Statistics Are Staggering
According to recent data, the scope of school gun violence in America is unprecedented:
2025 School Shooting Data:
- 231 school shooting incidents occurred in 2025, according to the K-12 School Shooting Database
- At least 78 shootings with 32 killed and 122 injured
- California had 22 incidents, Texas had 21, and Tennessee had 14
- Every state except Nevada, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, South Dakota, Alaska, Iowa, Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, and West Virginia had at least one incident
Historical Context:
- More than 236,000 students have been exposed to gun violence in schools since Columbine
- 2021, 2022, 2023, and 2024 all set records for school shootings since at least 2008
- Texas has had 65 school shootings since 2008, the most of any state
The Deadliest Incidents of 2025:
The Annunciation Catholic School shooting in Minneapolis in August was the most devastating, leaving up to 29 people injured and killing two children during morning mass. The shooter was a former student motivated by hate and a glorification of past shooters.
In October, three people were killed during a homecoming football game at Heidelberg High School in Mississippi.
These aren’t just statistics—they’re children, teachers, families, and communities forever changed.
Why Schools Conduct Active Shooter Drills
In response to this crisis, schools have implemented active shooter drills as a primary safety measure. Currently, 92% of schools report having a plan in place for a shooting incident.
The logic seems sound: if we prepare children for the possibility of a school shooting, they’ll be better equipped to survive one. Fire drills save lives, so shooter drills should too, right?
But here’s the critical difference: fire drills prepare children for a relatively rare but impersonal event. Active shooter drills prepare children for intentional violence directed at them by another human being. And that difference has profound psychological implications.
The Drills: What Actually Happens
Active shooter drills vary widely in their approach and intensity, but they generally fall into several categories:
Types of Drills
1. Lockdown Drills (Most Common):
- Students and teachers lock classroom doors
- Cover windows and turn off lights
- Hide in corners or closets
- Remain completely silent for extended periods
- Sometimes barricade doors with furniture
2. Evacuation Drills:
- Practice quickly exiting the building
- Identify safe evacuation routes
- Gather at designated safe locations
- Account for all students
3. “Run, Hide, Fight” Drills:
- Teach students to run if possible
- Hide if escape isn’t an option
- Fight back as a last resort (even for elementary students)
4. Realistic Simulations (Most Controversial):
- Actors playing shooters stalking hallways
- Loud noises simulating gunfire
- Pounding on doors and checking locks
- Sometimes unannounced to increase “realism”
The Frequency
Children today experience these drills with alarming regularity:
- Most schools conduct at least 2-4 drills per year
- Some schools conduct monthly drills
- Drills can last anywhere from 15 minutes to over an hour
- Many students will experience dozens of these drills throughout their K-12 education
My son has participated in 50+ active shooter drills since kindergarten. That’s 50+mtimes he’s been told to prepare for someone coming to kill him.
The Psychological Impact: What the Research Shows
While the intention behind these drills is protection, the research on their psychological impact is deeply troubling.
The Data on Trauma and Anxiety
A groundbreaking study surveying 815 youth ages 14-24 revealed alarming findings about the impact of active shooter drills:
Key Findings:
- 68.5% of youth reported that active shooter drills impacted them, many times in negative or unintentional ways
- More than half (60.2%) reported feeling unsafe, scared, helpless, or sad as a result of experiencing active shooter drills
- Only 6.7% reported experiencing drills that follow national recommendations of Run, Hide, Fight
- While 56.1% stated drills made students more prepared, there was a lack of consensus on whether they actually make schools safer
Student Voices:
One teen described the emotional toll: “Active shooter drills make me feel afraid, because if you make a sound your life and the life of your classmates will be in danger.”
Another called them “a necessary evil”—acknowledging the perceived need while recognizing the psychological cost.
The Trauma of “Realistic” Drills
Some of the most disturbing examples come from schools that prioritized realism over student well-being:
Lake Brantley High School, Orlando (2019):
A senior and her classmates were traumatized after an unannounced drill prompted them to hide in closets and locker rooms, not knowing whether there was a real gunman on campus. She told The Orlando Sentinel she woke up the following morning not wanting to return to school.
Meadowlawn Elementary School, Indiana:
In an unbelievably misguided drill, staff were lined up against a school wall and shot in the back with pellet guns. “They told us, ‘This is what happens if you just cower and do nothing,’” one teacher reported. “I was hit four times. It hurt so bad.”
East Orange Middle School, New Jersey (2018):
A drill left one student wondering if she was going to “finish the day alive.”
Long-Term Mental Health Consequences
Research suggests that exposure to active shooter drills can contribute to:
Anxiety Disorders:
- Generalized anxiety about safety
- Separation anxiety (fear of leaving parents)
- School-related anxiety and avoidance
- Hypervigilance and constant threat assessment
Trauma Symptoms:
- Intrusive thoughts about violence
- Nightmares and sleep disturbances
- Difficulty concentrating in school
- Emotional numbing or detachment
Developmental Impact:
- Disrupted sense of safety and security
- Altered worldview (seeing the world as fundamentally dangerous)
- Impact on trust in adults and institutions
- Potential normalization of violence
Dr. Zullig noted in research on active shooter drills that existing literature suggests the threat of a crisis can negatively affect children’s anxiety levels, and children of this generation are the first to have shooting-related drills as a regular aspect of their education.
The Effectiveness Question
Here’s the most troubling aspect: there’s extremely limited research on whether these drills actually work.
According to a report by Everytown for Gun Safety, the National Education Association (NEA), and the American Federation of Teachers, unannounced active shooter drills are “a detrimental and unproven school safety tactic” with “extremely limited research available on drills’ effectiveness.”
We’re potentially traumatizing millions of children with a practice that hasn’t been proven to save lives.
My Personal Experience: Navigating This as a Father
When my son came home traumatized from her first active shooter drill, I realized I was completely unprepared for this conversation.
The First Drill
The teacher had locked the door, turned off the lights, and told the children to hide in the corner and be absolutely silent. For 30 minutes, my son sat in the dark, terrified, not understanding what was happening or why.
When he got home, he was unusually quiet. At bedtime, he finally broke down crying and asked: “Daddy, is someone going to come to my school and hurt us?”
I didn’t know what to say. Every parental instinct wanted to tell him that he was completely safe, that nothing bad would ever happen. But I also knew I couldn’t lie to him.
That night began a journey of learning how to talk to my children about an impossible topic: the reality of school violence and how to process the fear without being consumed by it.
What I’ve Learned
Through my work at Daddy Newbie, conversations with other fathers at NM Football Academy, and extensive research, I’ve developed an approach to helping my kids navigate this reality. It’s not perfect, but it’s honest and it prioritizes their emotional well-being.
How to Talk to Your Kids About Active Shooter Drills
1. Create a Safe Space for Honest Conversation
What This Looks Like:
After a drill, I make time to talk with my kids one-on-one in a comfortable, private setting. I ask open-ended questions:
- “How did you feel during the drill today?”
- “What was the hardest part?”
- “Do you have any questions about why schools do these drills?”
What I Avoid:
- Dismissing their fears (“Don’t worry, nothing will happen”)
- Minimizing their experience (“It’s just a drill, it’s no big deal”)
- Changing the subject because I’m uncomfortable
Why It Matters:
Children need to know their feelings are valid and that it’s okay to be scared. When we create space for honest conversation, we give them permission to process their emotions rather than suppressing them.
2. Provide Age-Appropriate, Honest Information
For Younger Children (K-3rd Grade):
I keep explanations simple and focused on safety without graphic details:
“Schools practice drills to help everyone know what to do to stay safe, just like we practice fire drills. Sometimes bad things happen in the world, and schools want to make sure everyone knows how to be safe. It’s okay to feel scared during drills. That’s a normal feeling.”
For Older Children (4th-8th Grade):
I’m more direct while still being reassuring:
“You’ve probably heard about school shootings in the news. They’re very rare, but schools practice drills so that if something ever did happen, everyone would know what to do. The drills can feel scary, and that’s completely normal. It’s okay to talk about those feelings.”
For Teens (High School):
I have frank conversations about the reality:
“School shootings are a real problem in our country. The drills are meant to prepare you, but I know they can also be frightening and stressful. Let’s talk about how you’re feeling and what would help you feel safer.”
3. Validate Their Emotions
What I Say:
“It makes complete sense that you feel scared. I would feel scared too if I had to practice hiding from someone who might hurt me. Your feelings are important and real.”
“It’s okay to be angry that you have to do these drills. It’s not fair that kids have to think about these things.”
“Feeling sad or worried after a drill is normal. Let’s talk about what might help you feel better.”
What This Does:
Validation tells children that their emotional response is appropriate and healthy. It prevents them from internalizing shame about their fear or thinking something is wrong with them for being upset.
4. Distinguish Between Possibility and Probability
This is one of the most important conversations I have with my kids.
How I Explain It:
“School shootings are possible—they do happen, which is why we prepare. But they’re not probable for your specific school. Millions of kids go to school every single day and are completely safe. The chances of something happening at your school are very, very small.”
Using Analogies:
“It’s like wearing a seatbelt. We wear seatbelts because car accidents are possible, but we don’t spend all day worrying about getting in an accident. We take the precaution and then we go about our day.”
Why This Matters:
Children’s brains aren’t fully developed in terms of risk assessment. Without help, they can catastrophize and believe that because something is possible, it’s likely or inevitable. Helping them understand probability reduces anxiety.
5. Empower Them With Practical Coping Strategies
Before a Drill:
I teach my kids grounding techniques they can use during drills:
- Deep breathing (breathe in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4)
- Counting objects in the room
- Thinking of a safe, happy place
- Reminding themselves “This is practice, not real”
After a Drill:
We have a routine:
- Physical activity (throwing a football around, going for a walk)
- Talking about it if they want to
- Doing something comforting together
- Extra reassurance at bedtime if needed
Long-Term:
I help them develop a sense of agency:
- “You know what to do to stay safe”
- “You’ve practiced and you’re prepared”
- “You can trust your teachers to help keep you safe”
6. Monitor for Signs of Trauma
I watch for warning signs that the drills are having a significant negative impact:
Red Flags:
- Persistent nightmares or sleep problems
- Refusal to go to school or extreme anxiety about school
- Regression (bedwetting, clinginess in older children)
- Withdrawal from activities they used to enjoy
- Constant talk about death or violence
- Physical symptoms (stomachaches, headaches) before school
When to Seek Help:
If these symptoms persist for more than a few weeks or significantly interfere with daily life, I don’t hesitate to seek professional help from a child psychologist or counselor.
Through my work with A Money Geek, I’ve also researched how to find affordable mental health resources for families, because not every parent has access to expensive therapy.
7. Advocate for Better Practices
As a father and someone involved in youth development through NM Football Academy, I’ve learned that we can’t just accept the status quo. We have a responsibility to advocate for our children.
What I Do:
At the School Level:
- I’ve asked about drill policies
- I’ve requested that drills be announced in advance (not surprise drills)
- I’ve asked for age-appropriate modifications for younger children
- I’ve advocated for mental health support after drills
In My Community:
- Through Dad Spotlight and Daddy Newbie, I’ve written about this issue to raise awareness
- I’ve connected with other parents who share concerns
- I’ve supported organizations working on evidence-based school safety
With My Kids:
- I’ve taught them that it’s okay to speak up if a drill feels traumatic
- I’ve empowered them to talk to counselors or trusted adults at school
- I’ve let them know I will always advocate for their well-being
What Schools Should Be Doing Differently
Based on research and expert recommendations, there are much better ways to approach school safety preparedness.
Evidence-Based Best Practices
The National Association of School Psychologists and other expert organizations recommend:
1. Discussion-Based Exercises First:
Before any physical drill, schools should conduct age-appropriate discussions about safety procedures. This allows children to understand the purpose without the trauma of simulation.
2. Always Announce Drills in Advance:
Surprise drills create unnecessary trauma. Parents, students, and teachers should always know when a drill will occur.
3. Age and Developmentally Appropriate Content:
Drills should be designed in conjunction with teachers and school-based mental health specialists to ensure they’re appropriate for each age group.
4. Avoid Realistic Simulations:
No fake gunfire, no actors playing shooters, no pellet guns. These traumatize without adding meaningful preparedness.
5. Combine Drills with Mental Health Support:
Schools should provide counseling support before and after drills, and create space for students to process their emotions.
6. Involve School Psychologists:
Mental health professionals should be involved in planning and conducting drills to minimize psychological harm.
7. Evaluate Effectiveness:
Schools should assess whether drills are actually improving safety without causing undue harm.
The Problem with the Current Approach
The reality is that school safety has become big business—a $2.7 million industry. Schools are purchasing surveillance technology, metal detectors, facial recognition software, bullet-proof whiteboards, and fortified entries.
But throwing money at security theater doesn’t address the root causes of school violence, and it may be creating a generation of traumatized children who see their schools as potential war zones rather than safe places of learning.
Alternative Approaches to School Safety
There are more effective, less traumatic ways to improve school safety:
1. Threat Assessment and Intervention
Most school shooters exhibit warning signs before an attack. Comprehensive threat assessment programs that identify and intervene with at-risk students can prevent violence before it occurs.
The Annunciation Catholic School shooter had experienced mental health issues, and past classmates said they had seen concerning behavior years before the attack. Early intervention might have prevented that tragedy.
2. Mental Health Support
Investing in school counselors, psychologists, and mental health resources addresses the underlying issues that can lead to violence while also supporting all students’ well-being.
3. Community Violence Intervention
Programs that address violence in the broader community, provide mentorship, and create positive pathways for at-risk youth have proven effective.
Texas allocated funds for community violence intervention for the first time in 2025—a positive step.
4. Secure Entry Points
Physical security measures like controlled entry points, visitor check-in systems, and security personnel can improve safety without traumatizing students.
5. Relationship-Based School Culture
Schools where students feel connected to adults, where bullying is addressed, and where students feel safe reporting concerns are inherently safer.
Through NM Football Academy, I’ve seen how positive adult-youth relationships and strong community connections create environments where young people thrive and violence is less likely.
The Broader Conversation: Gun Violence and Children
We can’t talk about active shooter drills without acknowledging the elephant in the room: America’s unique gun violence problem.
The Context
The United States has more school shootings than any other developed nation. This isn’t because American children are more violent or American schools are less secure—it’s because we have more guns and fewer regulations than comparable countries.
As someone who contributes to A Money Geek and writes about family financial decisions, I understand the complexity of this issue. Gun ownership is deeply tied to American culture, constitutional rights, and personal freedom.
But as a father, I also know that my children shouldn’t have to practice hiding from gunmen as a routine part of their education.
What We Can Do
As Individuals:
- Secure firearms in our homes (if we own them)
- Talk to other parents about gun safety
- Model responsible gun ownership
- Support evidence-based violence prevention
As Communities:
- Advocate for common-sense gun safety measures
- Support mental health resources
- Invest in youth programs and positive activities
- Create cultures of connection and belonging
As a Society:
- Demand that legislators prioritize children’s safety
- Support research on gun violence prevention
- Fund school mental health resources
- Address the root causes of violence
Moving Forward: Hope Amid the Fear
I won’t lie to you—this is a hard topic. There are nights when I lie awake thinking about my children’s safety, wondering if I’m doing enough, worrying about a world where they have to practice for mass murder.
But I also see reasons for hope.
The Resilience of Children
Children are remarkably resilient when they have support, honest communication, and adults who validate their experiences. My son, who was so traumatized by his first drill, has learned to cope. He still gets anxious, but he has tools to manage that anxiety.
The Power of Community
Through Daddy Newbie, Dad Spotlight, and my work at NM Football Academy, I’ve connected with thousands of fathers who are navigating these same challenges. We’re not alone in this. When we support each other and share strategies, we become better equipped to help our kids.
The Possibility of Change
More people are questioning whether traumatic drills are the answer. More schools are adopting evidence-based practices. More communities are investing in prevention rather than just reaction.
Change is possible. But it requires us to speak up, advocate, and demand better for our children.
Our Responsibility as Fathers
As fathers, we have a sacred responsibility to protect our children. But protection doesn’t just mean physical safety—it means emotional safety too.
We protect our children when we:
- Create space for honest conversations about their fears
- Validate their emotions rather than dismissing them
- Provide age-appropriate information without overwhelming them
- Teach coping strategies that empower rather than paralyze
- Advocate for better practices in their schools
- Work toward a society where they don’t have to practice for violence
My son still asks hard questions: “Dad, why do we have to do these drills when other countries don’t?”
I told him the truth: “Because our country hasn’t figured out how to keep kids safe without scaring them. But a lot of people, including your dad, are working to change that.”
He thought about it and said: “I hope you figure it out soon.”
Me too. Me too.
Until then, we do what we can: we talk, we listen, we validate, we support, and we advocate. We help our children navigate an impossible reality while fighting to create a better one.
Because that’s what fathers do. We protect. We guide. We love. And we never stop fighting for our children’s right to feel safe, to learn without fear, and to experience childhood as it should be—full of wonder, not terror.
Don Jackson is a father, youth advocate, and founder of NM Football Academy, Dad Spotlight, and Daddy Newbie. He writes about the challenges of modern fatherhood and works to create safer, more supportive environments for children. Through his work across multiple platforms including The Raven Media Group and A Money Geek, he helps fathers navigate complex parenting issues while advocating for children’s well-being. Connect with him at linkedin.com/in/djackson33.
Resources for Parents
Mental Health Support:
- National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): 1-800-950-NAMI
- Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
- Child Mind Institute: childmind.org
- American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry: aacap.org
School Safety Information:
- National Association of School Psychologists: nasponline.org
- Everytown for Gun Safety: everytownresearch.org
- Sandy Hook Promise: sandyhookpromise.org
Talking to Kids About Violence:
- American Psychological Association resources
- National Child Traumatic Stress Network: nctsn.org
- Common Sense Media guides
If Your Child Needs Help:
Don’t wait. If your child is showing signs of trauma or significant anxiety related to school safety, reach out to:
- Your child’s school counselor
- Your pediatrician for referrals
- Local mental health services
- Your insurance provider for covered mental health services
Remember: Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Our children’s mental health matters just as much as their physical safety.
