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As the father of a teenage athlete and the founder of New Mexico Football Academy, I’ve witnessed firsthand the unique pressures our young athletes face. When my son first strapped on his football helmet, I was focused on proper technique and physical safety. I’ve learned that safeguarding his mental health is equally important to his success—both on and off the field.
The Hidden Struggle Behind the Jersey
Today’s young athletes aren’t just playing sports—they’re navigating a complex landscape of expectations, social media scrutiny, and competitive pressure that previous generations never experienced. According to recent studies, nearly 35% of adolescent athletes report symptoms of anxiety, with numbers rising each year. The statistics are alarming, but as parents, we have the power to intervene before these challenges become crises.
Why Mental Health Matters in Youth Sports
The benefits of athletic participation are well-documented: improved physical health, teamwork skills, discipline, and confidence. However, these benefits can be undermined when the mental health component is overlooked.
For teenagers specifically, sports participation coincides with a critical developmental period. The adolescent brain is still forming its emotional regulation capabilities while simultaneously experiencing heightened sensitivity to peer evaluation and performance pressure. This creates a perfect storm where athletic stress can trigger or exacerbate underlying mental health vulnerabilities.
Warning Signs Every Sports Parent Should Recognize
As parents, we need to look beyond the scoreboard. Here are key indicators that your young athlete may be struggling mentally or emotionally:
- Sudden loss of interest in a previously enjoyed sport
- Sleep disturbances or changes in eating patterns
- Isolation from teammates or family
- Excessive worry about performance or making mistakes
- Physical symptoms like headaches or stomach issues before practices/games
- Mood swings or irritability beyond typical teenage behavior
- Decreased performance despite continued effort
- Avoidance behaviors related to sports activities
The 5-Point Mental Health Check
Through my work with young athletes at NM Football Academy and raising my own teenage son, I’ve developed what I call the “5-Point Mental Health Check”—a framework any sports parent can use regularly:
1. The Purpose Check
Ask: “Why are you playing this sport?” Listen carefully to the answer. When the motivation shifts from internal (love of the game, enjoyment, personal challenge) to purely external (pleasing others, scholarship pressure, fear of disappointing), it’s time for a deeper conversation.
2. The Joy Meter
After practices and games, observe your child’s emotional state. Sports should bring joy at least some of the time. If weeks pass without moments of visible enjoyment, something may be amiss with either the sporting environment or your child’s relationship with the sport.
3. The Pressure Gauge
Create safe spaces to discuss pressure. Try: “On a scale of 1-10, how much pressure are you feeling about your sport right now?” Follow up with: “Where is that pressure coming from?” This simple question can reveal whether the pressure is self-imposed, parent-driven, coach-related, or peer-influenced.
4. The Identity Assessment
Help your athlete maintain perspective with occasional questions like: “If you couldn’t play this sport anymore, what other things would you still enjoy about yourself?” This gently reminds them that their identity extends beyond athletics.
5. The Support Network Review
Regularly evaluate whether your child has adequate emotional support. Ask: “When you’re having a tough day with sports, who do you talk to about it?” If the answer is “no one,” help them identify trusted adults or peers who can provide support.
Creating a Mental Health-Friendly Sports Environment
As sports parents, we contribute significantly to the atmosphere surrounding our children’s athletic experiences. Here are actionable strategies to foster psychological safety:
Redefine Success
Emphasize effort, improvement, and character development over outcomes. After games, lead with questions like “Did you have fun?” or “What did you learn today?” rather than focusing on the score or individual statistics.
Model Emotional Regulation
Our children watch how we respond to their performances. When we demonstrate composure after their mistakes or losses, we teach valuable lessons about perspective and resilience.
Establish Clear Boundaries
Create separation between sporting events and family time. The car ride home shouldn’t become an unsolicited coaching session. Instead, allow your athlete to decompress and process their experience before any analysis occurs.
Communicate with Coaches Appropriately
Partner with coaches by sharing relevant information about your child’s well-being, but respect the coach-athlete relationship. Before intervening in playing time or position discussions, ask yourself: “Is this about my child’s wellbeing or my own expectations?”
Normalize Mental Health Conversations
Talk about mental health as matter-of-factly as physical health. Statements like “Mental toughness includes knowing when you need support” help destigmatize the topic.
When to Seek Professional Support
Despite our best efforts as parents, sometimes professional help is needed. Consider consulting a sports psychologist or mental health professional if:
- Your athlete shows persistent symptoms of anxiety or depression
- Performance anxiety is significantly impacting their enjoyment or ability to participate
- They express thoughts of quitting a previously loved sport without clear reasons
- Physical symptoms (insomnia, appetite changes, unexplained pains) persist
- Their self-worth becomes excessively tied to athletic performance
The Long Game: Beyond Trophies and Championships
Through my work with the NM Football Academy and raising my own son, I’ve learned that the most successful athletes are those who maintain balanced lives and perspectives. The skills that truly transfer from sports to life aren’t the physical techniques but the mental resilience, emotional intelligence, and self-awareness developed along the journey.
As parents, our ultimate goal should be raising well-adjusted humans who may happen to be athletes, rather than athletes who struggle to find identity beyond their sport. By prioritizing mental health alongside physical development, we give our children the greatest competitive advantage of all: psychological well-being that transcends any scoreboard.
A Parent’s Pledge
I invite every sports parent reading this to join me in a simple pledge:
“I commit to checking in on my athlete’s mental health as regularly as I check on their physical health. I will create space for honest conversation, listen without judgment, and prioritize their well-being over any trophy, scholarship, or championship.”
When we make this commitment, we transform from being merely supporters on the sidelines to becoming true advocates for our children’s comprehensive well-being—a victory that will serve them long after the final whistle blows.
Don Jackson is the founder of NM Football Academy, DaddyNewbie.com, and TheRavenMediaGroup.com. As a father, youth sports advocate, and contributor to AMoneyGeek.com, he focuses on helping parents navigate the challenges of raising healthy, well-rounded young athletes. Connect with him at dadspotlight.com for more parenting insights and resources.
